Gifts Received on the Journey to Thirty: Confidence

I’m beginning to realize that an ongoing theme in this aging process is the innate ability to summon up confidence at the drop of a hat.

Jesus Murphy I used to be a sad hat story. I don’t know what a “sad hat” is but I’m going to use it anyways. I was a people pleaser plain and simple. If you were a complete stranger on the street and sauntered up to me telling me that you didn’t like my shit- shit being my stuff, my way, my being- I would change myself right then and there for you.

I could not stand the idea of other people not enjoying my company. Even those who I did not enjoy the company of, I wanted them too to feel overjoyed when I entered the room.

“Hey look everyone there’s Lindsay, the nicest, coolest and most wonderful person on the face of this planet.” No one ever shouted that upon my arrival but boy howdy did I yearn for it.

I’m not trying to self-depreciate here, I had my great points too back then. I could mime one hell of a cheer chant and sing a Broadway tune that would make Liza weep with awe (clearly I’m reaching now). I was pretty cool in my odd and unusual ways. However it does sadden me that I did not possess the same confidence I do today.

But of course I couldn’t have…If so, I would have been UNSTOPPABLE with my outrageous antics and too-much-too-handle charm. 


As I’ve mentioned about a thousand times since starting this journey to thirty, confidence has been one of the miraculous gifts that age and wisdom has given me.

untitled-shoot-073Today I can stand strong in my resolve that I am a person who has her own thoughts and opinions and I do not need the approval of others to validate those feelings. It is a liberating notion and something I never realized I valued until just recently.

Confidence can come in a shapes and sizes. It can be the easy sway of your derriere while wearing that little black dress that fits just right. Or holding yourself tall and strong as you make a presentation to your colleagues. It can be facing a fear that you never truly believed you could overcome.

Confidence is everywhere, it is up to us to harness it.

I would like my children to earn their confidence early. So today, now, I will continue to do my best to instill assurance and sureness into them.

Because we can all talk about backgrounds, upbringings, credentials, appearance, etc. until our tongue swells and shuts us up but there are still those who cannot seem to own their accomplishments or their pride. Without confidence we’ve nothing. Confidence is what creates presence and that is a crucial lesson in the growing up sector of our lives.

So go forth my fellow humans and embrace age as it comes, there are some pretty great upsides to it after all! And if you have yet to find that confidence keep searching. Try something new every day. Educate yourself on anything that interests you. Go out of your way to talk to a stranger (not the weirdo’s, never the weirdo’s). Push yourself harder and eventually you will discover a poise you never quite knew before- and it feels fabulous.


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